Rectitude

We need to be our own Sassy Gay Friend, that's all there is to it. If you know not of whom I speak, head to thesecondcitynetwork.com/You Tube, check it out, and compile a list of people (outside of the rare and glorious real friends you might have, cherish them) that would be as candid with you in an hour of crucial decision making. Or that hilarious while doing it.

Honesty isn't the best policy anymore, or when it is, it's callously misinterpreted to suit our personal needs, spare us unwanted interaction or help us gain something. I've been beating my brains out lately trying to figure out exactly why we do this to ourselves and others. Laziness? Fear of confrontation? Defense mechanism? Selfishness? I suspect it's all of the above. What the what and why the why, I ask.

EVERYONE does it, we're all a link in the spiral of shame. I accepted a dinner invitation from a random dude at the park the other day. He didn't trip my trigger physically, nor personality wise, and the verbal exchange was weak to say the least. He didn't even introduce himself before getting digits (ones that I could have fudged as an easy out but never do out of habit I guess, psssh). He then proceeded to imply by tone of voice what would be happening in exchange for sushi. Yuck and double yuck. Needless to say I declined later, and scoffed at the subsequent blatant booty text the next night. "I'm not interested, but thanks. Approaching me took guts though, good job." That's how that could have gone, but it's a park frequented often, and no doubt I'll run into him again, therefor I felt obligated to spare the potential rejection awkwardness of it all. So I pretended, kicking myself ever since.

According to the general study of humans I informally conduct, when you do let the truth fly, it's detrimental somewhere down the line, and that's the deciding factor above all else. The collective stigma isn't on being honest so much as having to deal with that person in the future, in light of your real feelings or thoughts. By telling them what you think, you open your thought process and opinions to them, and in effect that friend/person will know where you stand, and either shy away or rebel against you accordingly. So it's easier to just say what they want to hear or skirt the issue and not have to sort out the messy, draining details.

Every time you let a good friend out of the house wearing an unflattering get-up despite any dubious queries for your input or omit pertinent facts to receive money/a service/material gain from someone the truth bending isn't for them, it's for you. Selfish and jaded much? Yeah, somehow we are.

Couple that with the human need for acceptance by everyone and their teacup poodle, its obvious how this all came down, even as we ignore indefinitely. I decided to challenge myself to fix it from my end. If we can all band together to "go green" we can all "go real", too.

Those individuals-you know who they are/if you are one-that ring loudest and clearest when relating do so by tactfully revealing thoughts and constructively evaluating situations without fear or delusional misgivings clouding their head. It's not what you say, it's how you say it. If we pass that down to even the simplest interactions, and trust in our perspective in that moment, we can dig a tunnel to truth and be set free. If what you say is meant to help, any momentary offense will be forgotten when they come out the other side, better for it.

In other words, "Probity ain't just fun on a Saturday night, it's a way of life." You know, something sassy like that.