I can remember a time in my life when I longed for what I now have. Living near the beach, doing what I love to do, feeling intrinsically myself. About seven years ago, I embarked upon a journey that I envisioned being a hell of a lot different. But here I am, right where I'm supposed to be.
As I sit sipping Bud Light, enjoying the few hours lull before the week day starts again, I happen upon The Devil Wears Prada on FX. I've seen it before and Emily Blunt was the best part. Don't get me started on Anne Hathaway. Anyway, the premise is what clicked in my brain. The message this time around being: no matter how many hoops one tells you to jump through, the hoops you set for yourself are the hardest, and so why jump for anyone else?
No matter how hard the days get pursuing my own ever evolving dream...feeling disconnected from friends and family scattered throughout the country, scraping by on whatever money there is at the moment, trying to pick my tear and snot stained face off the floor and keep pushing on...the day it all breaks into prosperous fruition is what I do it for. Well, that and seeing how it unfolds...I love a good drama, it's true.
I'm truly thankful for my life, and I'm proud of all the effed up crazy I deal with all the time. It could always be worse...I could be working a job that I hate, waking up to mediocrity and falling asleep to the same. I've said it many times before, I'll say it many times again, no doubt. It's taken me years to realize fully, but I'm so glad to be right here, in this moment. In California, writing what's in my heart, feeling like I'm part of the world. And an important part at that, because there's no other Lola like me out there.
If it takes another seven years for me to see the crescendo to all this, so be it. It's been said that in these dramatic times economically, mentally, emotionally....one has a great opportunity to carve out a niche. Boy am I glad I have a leg up on that shit. And cheers to those of you in the same boat or plotting a course to be in said boat...Let's carve this bad boy like a Thanksgiving Day bird.
Oh, and P.S...for all of you Daisy of Love-ers...my money is on Dave-er-12 Pack. My heart is with Flex though. That accent kills me and the guy liner is working for me. Rrrawr with a side of bawm chicka bawmbawm.
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